Give This Summer the Slip----Please…..

As the summer begins, I am preparing myself for the annual onslaught of eye wounding poor taste. I am readying myself for another season of over-exposure from those who do not give thanks for Spanx; of those that do not believe that less may actually mean less; and the mathematically challenged that do not understand that 20 pounds of bosom do not fit in 15 pounds of blouse.

I do not in any way mean that one should not wear what one wants to in the heat of the summer, and I embrace the natural beauty that God created in each and every one us. However---over exposure simply isn’t elegant. So please, look in the full-length mirror before you leave home, and if you can see the color of the butterflies wings on your underwear through the garment, you are in fact a candidate for the cover of Bad Taste Magazine, so please put something else on---those of us who ride public transportation with you will be so very thankful--- trust me.

Yes, I am a relic, and I still wear slips under see-through garments---I know I am a dying breed and I intend to leave my collection of lovely lace slips to the Smithsonian. But in the meantime, let us pray the following prayer for this summer and the summers to come…

Oh Gracious Deity of all things fashionable,
We pray for the reemergence of the slip
She was lacey and lovely
--Soft and silky
She kept our confidences---that demure, lovely slip
She helped us be beautiful---she dictated a standard
She was sometimes misunderstood---sometimes exposed to the world on the outside of clothes
Called old fashioned---too constricting
But I love her---still
I love her in all her incarnations---the camisole—the half-slip—
Oh God of all things fashionable,
Please let us not have to endure one more summer of over- exposed thongs
---of skirts so thin that they leave nothing to the imagination
--of beautiful dresses that end up looking like rags without a slip
---forgive those who have trespassed against elegance
--and lead them not to further temptation
--but deliver them to feminine expression and true beauty
---Amen