Give This Summer the Slip----Please…..

As the summer begins, I am preparing myself for the annual onslaught of eye wounding poor taste. I am readying myself for another season of over-exposure from those who do not give thanks for Spanx; of those that do not believe that less may actually mean less; and the mathematically challenged that do not understand that 20 pounds of bosom do not fit in 15 pounds of blouse.

I do not in any way mean that one should not wear what one wants to in the heat of the summer, and I embrace the natural beauty that God created in each and every one us. However---over exposure simply isn’t elegant. So please, look in the full-length mirror before you leave home, and if you can see the color of the butterflies wings on your underwear through the garment, you are in fact a candidate for the cover of Bad Taste Magazine, so please put something else on---those of us who ride public transportation with you will be so very thankful--- trust me.

Yes, I am a relic, and I still wear slips under see-through garments---I know I am a dying breed and I intend to leave my collection of lovely lace slips to the Smithsonian. But in the meantime, let us pray the following prayer for this summer and the summers to come…

Oh Gracious Deity of all things fashionable,
We pray for the reemergence of the slip
She was lacey and lovely
--Soft and silky
She kept our confidences---that demure, lovely slip
She helped us be beautiful---she dictated a standard
She was sometimes misunderstood---sometimes exposed to the world on the outside of clothes
Called old fashioned---too constricting
But I love her---still
I love her in all her incarnations---the camisole—the half-slip—
Oh God of all things fashionable,
Please let us not have to endure one more summer of over- exposed thongs
---of skirts so thin that they leave nothing to the imagination
--of beautiful dresses that end up looking like rags without a slip
---forgive those who have trespassed against elegance
--and lead them not to further temptation
--but deliver them to feminine expression and true beauty
---Amen

To All That has Been, Thanks, To All That Shall Be, Yes

On June 15, I celebrated 13 years of service to the Riverside Church. I invited several staff members to enjoy champagne, strawberries, and exchange funny stories with me--and I can't tell you how wonderful the day felt.

Let us endeavor to celebrate ourselves and each other whenever possible, as our time here is precious and so very short.

Each of us harbors a deep desire to at some moment in time feel significant, and today, I did.

I can't tell you what the future holds for me, but I face it with a very simple, YES.

Thank You For Making Room For ME!!

I am always amazed when someone says thank you ---- not to insinuate that I am surrounded by boorish ingrates on a daily basis---but every now and then someone says thank you, and I am changed.

I take the Metro North Commuter Railroad to work each day, and I never cease to be surprised at the level of insensitivity, and outright incivility that people freely exhibit to one another during this hour-plus ride. Now for those that are not aware, Metro North is indeed a comfortable ride, and a rather expensive one. Consequently, one can expect certain niceties that do not exist on the regular subway. On Metro North you can drink alcohol openly; bring your dog (without a carrier), and enjoy the expectation of a fairly quiet ride---at least during peak hours on weekdays. One notable exception is St. Patrick’s Day, which creates an entirely different set of etiquette challenges that I will address at another time.

The one missing courtesy on the Metro North is the simple human decency in removing your belongings from the seat next to you, so that fellow commuters may sit down. Tired, bewildered riders are often left pacing the aisle seeking a friendly face that is willing to move their items to the overhead luggage rack. The impolite and etiquette challenged then pretend to be engrossed in the newspaper; feign sleep, overemphasize involvement in whatever is playing on their IPod’s, or simply ignore their fellow riders when it comes to sharing the real estate next to them.

One day recently, during my commute home, the train became a bit crowded at the station we pulled into, and the dance began---those looking for common courtesy being taunted by seats filled with briefcases, laptops, books, and pizza boxes. A visibly tired man, a man who worked in construction perhaps, walked down the aisle and finally stopped at the seat next to me, which I was in the process of quickly clearing and making available. He sat, thanked me, and we never spoke again for 40 minutes.

When we pulled into his station, he gathered his things, and before leaving he turned to me smiling and said “Miss, thank you for making room for me.” I sat there for the remainder of my ride astonished and sitting quite a bit taller. The small courtesy I extended had evoked a response so warm that it stayed with me for days---in fact, I smile every time I think about it. I now make sure the seat is cleared off next to me for every ride.

So in the days ahead, take a moment to make room for someone---on the bus, on the check-out line, in the parking lot. Yield the right of way in a conflict---You'll not only receive a smile, but you will be responsible for changing the atmosphere in your little corner of the world. Consider the ways the universe has made room for you---and live into that gratitude whenever you encounter someone less fortunate.

Make room for a weary traveler---knowing with absolute certainty, that one day, most assuredly, the weary traveler will be you.

Stay Tuned...New Posts in March 2011

Have been away a bit---but fear not!
My Blog is currently being copyrighted---and will be back soon.

Be Thankful--Yes, For Everything

The holidays are upon us. We will celebrate important things like family, friends, having jobs, good health, homes not in foreclosure, etc. We’ll also give thanks for some of the less ethereal matters of life-----turkey that’s not too dry; neighbors that are not too loud, football in HD, Spanx (my personal favorite), and a whole host of other blessings. And then, on the heals of being thankful, we will rush out during the pre-dawn hours to shop----and we’ll continue to shop until the big burly guy in the red suit comes down the chimney—or-- we pay off our lay-away at Big K, whichever happens first. We will wake up on January 2nd jazzed with resolutions and new resolve, which will get old in about a month or so, and then, for better or worse, we will return to ourselves.

So, before we begin this frenzy of Turkey Gravy, Wrapping Paper, and Resolutions, I’d like to offer 3 thoughts for the holiday season:

1. Give Me My Flowers While I can See Them (Just like the old Church song says)
Life is fragile, and fleeting—and can change in the blink of an eye---in the reading of a medical diagnosis, behind the wheel of a car. Remember birthdays, graduations, dance recitals, baseball games, the day a loved one quit smoking----seemingly small moments. Your acknowledgement means the world, and is like giving a flower, and your light says, “I see you”. What a gift! Don’t wait for a funeral to give someone flowers, don’t wait until a holiday to make a phone call--tell them you love them today, when they can hear you---go and visit while they can see you. Personally, I’d rather have a cute daisy in a bud vase on my desk today, than a blanket of expensive orchids draped on my casket tomorrow.
2. Be The Change You Want to See in the World (Gandhi said that, and he was right)
It is a known fact that we believe more of what we see than what we hear. Make sure that you are always being what you want the world to see----and--- if you want to change the world in any way at all, seek to be what God has ordained you to be. Warren Buffett does amazing things with his millions, and we all know his name. But what of Agnes Bojaxhiu? a woman who never went to college, never owned a car---but millions of people know her because she became who and what God ordained. Remember, there is only one ME, and one YOU----crafted by a meticulous, deliberate and amazing God. Each of us has a wonderful and specific divine purpose---find it---be it---live it with integrity--and the world will never be the same. Oh yes, and what of Agnes Bojaxhiu? ---perhaps you know her by her other name—Mother Teresa.
3. And While You are Being Thankful…
Seek to live a life of gratitude, not just of big things, but of all things---not just at Thanksgiving, but everyday. In fact, take a few moments this season to be thankful not only for all that you have been given, but take a few moments to recognize and be thankful for the stuff you asked for that you didn’t get. How many times have we asked for things that simply were not meant for us to have? God was not being punitive by not answering the prayer in the affirmative, but instead, a prudent parent. Sometimes we ask for things with the wrong motive, or for that which will do us more harm than good. God knows why you don’t need a fast sports car; a house too big to afford, that man or woman that was meant for someone else, or the job that would give you an ulcer. So, in this holiday season of thanksgiving and gift giving, yes, thank God for all that you have been given, for knowing you better than you know yourself –and—for not giving you everything you have asked for.

And remember, not receiving things we ask for is not God calling us to a place of Deprivation---but to a place of Preservation. And that dear ones, is something to be thankful for!!!

Wishing You Happy Holidays and Metta For Your Journey!!!

Alas, I am a Relic

I love writing letters on sweet smelling paper. I keep all the birthday cards people send. When I’m in love, I write real love notes. I adore creating greeting cards for holidays—and hand addressing (yes, I said that) envelopes and affixing pretty stamps.

I muse about the days I received more than bills and cell phone upgrade ads in the mailbox. In fact, once upon a time, opening the mailbox was like Christmas---there might be a brightly colored envelope containing an actual invitation, or maybe even a real thank-you note---oh my---those were the days. All that wonder has been replaced by Blackberry’s and IPhone’s; Evites and Text Messages.

We have become so tech savvy -–but---have we become better communicators?? What does one think when the long revered Book is considered yesterday, being upstaged by an electronic hand-held device. When did turning a page become so time consuming and out of fashion? Yes, Yes, technology is a wonderful thing, and being able to watch your friends wedding in New York on a hand-held device while sunning yourself on a beach in Maui is quite a feat. But so is having coffee with a friend face-to-face and telling them how much you appreciate them. We have forgotten the need for balance between the cyber world and the real one where the people actually exist. Has Face Book made us better friends-- better brothers, or sisters? Did you know that hurtful words are no less hurtful when you whisper them, shout them, or send them to me on a 2-inch screen? Are you more productive, happier or smarter because you can cyber communicate in shorthand and send an electronic bouquet of flowers to your mother?

I’m not a highly evolved tech creature—and that’s actually okay with me. I’m not on Face Book. My cell phone doesn’t have a camera, and tweeting is what happens when the song birds nesting outside my bedroom window wake up in the morning.

So here’s a salute to thoughtful, handwritten thank-you notes; real conversations on the phone when you actually do laugh out loud---here’s a high five to those who press real roses in real books to remember special occasions. And last but certainly not least, I offer a standing ovation to those who remember when BFF was burger and french fries---your order taken at the local diner when you had real lunch with a real friend and had real conversation.

Alas, I am a relic, and proud of it---

When all else fails, put the bunny in the buggy (and other life lessons I learned from a child and a dog)

It has been said that one should never be upstaged by children or dogs—and I always believed it was because we don’t want to share the entertainment value. But of late, I’ve come to believe that we adults don’t want children or dogs to steal our thunder in certain situations because they just might teach us something we really need to know.

Recently, I’ve called upon a few life lessons that I learned from a child and a dog---profound enough to share.

One of my couples decided that their lovely, professionally trained golden retriever would make a fine addition to their bridal party. As an avid animal lover, and pet Mom, I understand the gifts pets bring to our lives---so I rarely oppose the participation of a well-behaved dog in a wedding (operative words well-behaved).

My canine charge was paraded in on the wedding day as planned---with a wreath of flowers around his neck. Much to the chagrin of the couple, the wreath was a major source of irritation causing periodic pauses to vigorously scratch and the attempted removal of the offending flowers.

Life Lessons Learned:

1. No matter how highly trained we are, we have frailties and boundaries that need to be observed and respected.
2. Something well meaning and absolutely innocent --a rose, (a comment, a gesture) can reek havoc when applied to the wrong circumstance.

I learned another set of lessons from a sweet, doe-eyed ring bearer who refused to process the aisle without his stuffed bunny and its buggy. Several well meaning adults crouched down around the child and offered lengthy, logical explanations about why bunny could not be pushed down the aisle. The child was inconsolable, and with procession about to begin, my wedding volunteer and I tied two white pew bows on the buggy, threw the ring pillow on the bunny’s lap, and sent the ring bearer down the aisle.

The child was delighted---the audience was delighted---and I suspect the bunny was also delighted.

Life Lessons Learned:

1. You can always learn high-minded things from cerebral people. But sometimes, precious logic abounds in the mind and spirit of a 3-year old.
2. Life is too short, and also far too long to sweat the insignificant---so be flexible. When your plans don’t go exactly as expected, don’t waste time lamenting what could be-----put your bunny in the buggy and get down the aisle---your life is waiting!!!